June 28, 2017

Fond of The Dark..?

I'm not quite there yet. Fond of the dark? Not really. But this dark, the one I speak of, I believe I can be, the more I realize how much love was behind it. 

This dark season, the one I've named in jest, the Crash of 2016, the one that I'm now moving more out of and on to the other side than being in the middle of the deepest darkest pit...it's this dark that I speak of. 

Re-engaging with my blog a week ago after a two and half year absence, I told you a little about where I've been. I've been hiding for sure. Isolating and backing away more and more sending me deeper and deeper into the night... When it became so dark I couldn't see anymore, I finally sought help and about 3 weeks into my counseling he asked me a question... 

What if I could become grateful for this season? Wait.

June 21, 2017

A Life Interrupted

Life interrupted. The phrase stirs a variety of meanings for each of us doesn't it? With every one as unique as the next.

December 16, 2014. That's the last time I posted anything here on my blog. Ironically, the subject of that post speaks more loudly to a place where I found myself in the months following than I could have ever imagined. Though I spoke truth in my writing, truth that I deeply believed, I soon lost all focus and any grip I had left, drowning in a sea of darkness like I've never experienced in my life. I allowed the very thing, the very truth I wrote with my most earnest stance, to be forgotten in the trail of my dust as I forged ahead in my own strength, leaving behind the presence of my Savior as I chose to walk through difficulties and pain without Him by my side. All because I refused to choose His way. I thought I had it all together, but when I decided that, although somewhat subconsciously, my way was better, it would culminate in what I now fondly(?) refer to as the Crash of 2016 - a year long journey through deep depression and anxiety...

December 16, 2014

Who Are We Really Hurting?

“Oh, He even sees me in the dark!"

This took my breath away when I heard it.

From a very familiar Psalm only read from a different version than I'm used to using. 

While my church's current series, Christmas Lights, is truly resonating with many, it is not for some. Or is it? As we take a look at the true light (Christ) that illuminates our life, who brings light into our dark places, we have a choice to make.

November 13, 2014

In The Forgetting - A Reflective Prose

In the forgetting...this.

I forget the wonderful places I've been.
I forget the thoughtful gifts I've been given.
I forget that my needs have been met.
And I forget the loved ones who support me.

I forget the good and I forget the

November 11, 2014

What Am I Forgetting?

"The year from hell."

Not exactly the most inviting title for a blog post (and why I did not use it) nor is it the greatest opening line. Though it's what I, somewhat jokingly, have dubbed it, it has at times felt like it. It's what I'd like to forget. I have often wished it would just be over.

But will it? Oh, the year will of course end, but will its struggles, tough circumstances and the never ending stress over one thing then the next... and when there's so much, even the joyful things of life can become overwhelming. But will they cease? Or yet, even slow down?

Well, the year may end, but the new one begins with an illusion of false hope and its promises of fresh starts and second chances that this next one might just be better. Or will it?

June 17, 2014

True Joy is Possible

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." 

I was given the privilege to speak not once but twice during my church's last series State of Mind. What a humbling opportunity. (Read about my Hope message)

If you know me at all then you know this is not the typical me but it's the God-changing me. It's the me that wants to do my best to say, "Yes, Lord." and to surrender to His leading. It can be and is a daunting step of faith to say yes to whatever opportunity He may give, however, it's been said that joy is born from obedience.

May 14, 2014

Encouragement Ignites Hope

"Hope is an assured promise whereas faith is acting out that promise.
Faith is hope put into action." 

While he was working at home studying yesterday, Jeff and I took a couple "breaks" to sit outside for a chance to enjoy the fresh air and during those times we had a few enthusiastic discussions as he shared his thoughts and insights for the upcoming message this Sunday, State of Mind - Anxiety. 

We are very excited about the impact that this series has the potential of having. Though a tough subject, and sometimes even taboo, we believe the conversation is much needed as indicated by the many folks that expressed their appreciation this past Sunday in the first week of the series.

God wants to heal us. He wants to walk with us through whatever it is that we are struggling with. He wants to help us. He wants us to believe Him so He can help us.

April 21, 2014

The Day After Easter & Thinking About the Best Part


I woke up this morning still thinking about our Good Friday and Easter services over the past weekend. I am overwhelmed by God's goodness...indeed, how He blesses us!

The energy and excitement was contagious! Best of all, much of it was coming from our regular attenders and members across all campuses, not only from the staff! That was greatly encouraging, but it wasn't the best part.

The music was stellar, leading us to worship and celebrate the God who is alive and saves us with sincere and joy-filled gratitude. That was deeply moving, but it wasn't the best part.

The messages, from my favorite pastor, were dynamic, insightful, inspiring and challenging. They were thought provoking and convicting, but it wasn't the best part.

February 26, 2014

Out of the Blue ~ Pt 2

NOTE: I have had this blog post written for a couple weeks now but held off publishing because I just didn't like it. Something didn't feel quite right. So I waited....

I don't want to just write words without purpose or least of all for my own purposes. I want to write them out of the overflow of my relationship with God and foremost for His purposes- to serve Him, not myself.

So, here's my revision, with a heart to serve and a prayer that the privilege He has given, will encourage others...

February 5, 2014

Out of the Blue ~ Pt 1

My dog, Ginger, has been expressing some symptoms 
to the likeness of SAD (seasonal affective disorder or seasonal blues). It's pretty sad (couldn't resist the pun) when you can identify sadness in an already melancholy dog. 

Our dogs generally stay outside most of the day and sleep in the garage at night. However, the rigid cold temperatures this winter have brought our mutts inside pretty much 24/7. So maybe Ginger is missing her time outside in the fresh air.

May 13, 2013

Forward. Focus. Favor.

Whew! I made it! 

I had the privilege of speaking at my church yesterday on Mother's Day. It was a blessing to be given the opportunity to do this and I must say, what a joy to see hearts touched because of the message God gave me to share! 

I also found out yesterday, in a very real way, that God cannot do in us or through us what He wants to do unless we move forward choosing to follow His command to "be strong and courageous" and believing His promise that "He will be with us wherever we are."  (Joshua 1:9)

And that is exactly what happened! I was fearful but knew God had not only given me this opportunity but had also given me the message and wanted me to share it. So I had a choice. I could cower back and decline or I could move forward, focus on Him and what He promised and wait expectantly for His favor.

April 2, 2013

Sometimes the Right Thing is the Hard Thing

It's not always easy is it? Doing the right thing is often the most difficult thing to do.

It's hard because it may involve circumstances to correct a wrong we have done or it may be that God is asking us for obedience to correct something about ourselves. Whether it's a sin or something we need to improve on, whether it involves others or not, we just don't like it. Hard things are generally uncomfortable. Most of us don't like uncomfortable. Not only do we like comfortable, but we like comfy cozy, easy breezy, wrapped up tight and secure comfortable.