June 28, 2017

Fond of The Dark..?

I'm not quite there yet. Fond of the dark? Not really. But this dark, the one I speak of, I believe I can be, the more I realize how much love was behind it. 

This dark season, the one I've named in jest, the Crash of 2016, the one that I'm now moving more out of and on to the other side than being in the middle of the deepest darkest pit...it's this dark that I speak of. 

Re-engaging with my blog a week ago after a two and half year absence, I told you a little about where I've been. I've been hiding for sure. Isolating and backing away more and more sending me deeper and deeper into the night... When it became so dark I couldn't see anymore, I finally sought help and about 3 weeks into my counseling he asked me a question... 

What if I could become grateful for this season? Wait.

June 21, 2017

A Life Interrupted

Life interrupted. The phrase stirs a variety of meanings for each of us doesn't it? With every one as unique as the next.

December 16, 2014. That's the last time I posted anything here on my blog. Ironically, the subject of that post speaks more loudly to a place where I found myself in the months following than I could have ever imagined. Though I spoke truth in my writing, truth that I deeply believed, I soon lost all focus and any grip I had left, drowning in a sea of darkness like I've never experienced in my life. I allowed the very thing, the very truth I wrote with my most earnest stance, to be forgotten in the trail of my dust as I forged ahead in my own strength, leaving behind the presence of my Savior as I chose to walk through difficulties and pain without Him by my side. All because I refused to choose His way. I thought I had it all together, but when I decided that, although somewhat subconsciously, my way was better, it would culminate in what I now fondly(?) refer to as the Crash of 2016 - a year long journey through deep depression and anxiety...